The philosopher Soren Kierkegaard once described anxiety as “the dizziness of freedom.” This article is not about positive thinking or finding a silver lining. It is about a personal, lifelong relationship with anxiety and what can be learned from a persistent condition. The author clarifies that learning from anxiety is not an endorsement of it, stating a preference for having less anxiety over any lessons gained.
A formative childhood experience with anxiety occurred in the 1980s. During an unsupervised football game, another child’s pants were pulled down, exposing him. While others laughed, the author was terrified of the same thing happening. This led to tying pants extremely tight and feeling sick before daily activities. At the time, discussions about mental health were not common, and the author’s anxiety was not recognized as such.
In recent years, the anxiety has become more noticeable, possibly worsening after having COVID-19 in 2020 and 2021. This has necessitated a more mindful approach to dealing with it. Through this process, several lessons have emerged.
Anxiety has taught me to be present.
Intense anxiety roots a person in the current moment. It can make usual distractions impossible. This intense presence allows for observation of how physical sensations are turned by the mind into the emotion of anxiety, which is identified as the source of suffering.
Anxiety has taught me about control.
Anxiety provides a clear lesson on what can and cannot be controlled. While the causes of anxiety often feel uncontrollable, the response to them is within one’s control. This condition also shifts focus to something larger than oneself, a reminder that one is not in charge of everything.
Anxiety teaches me to have good habits and boundaries.
When feeling well, the author admits to letting healthy habits and personal boundaries slip. This includes poor diet, lack of exercise, and allowing unhealthy people to have a prominent role. Anxiety acts as a reminder that these choices have consequences, prompting a “cleaning house” when it spikes.
Anxiety reminds me how important growth is.
After addressing unhealthy patterns, anxiety can prompt a search for new projects and positive steps. This has been difficult during periods of intense anxiety, but establishing better habits and new ventures begins to show results. For example, anxiety led to a career shift from counseling to less stressful life coaching and prompted positive changes in diet and exercise.
Anxiety taught me to be gentle.
The author has long wanted to be gentler with people, though a naturally direct communication style sometimes impedes this. Feeling fragile during anxious periods has created a better understanding of how others might feel in the face of bluntness. The author notes becoming noticeably gentler with others when experiencing anxiety.
Anxiety taught me to slow down and ask for help.
Anxiety often triggers a desire to make quick decisions for relief, but these are rarely the best ones. The author has learned that an anxiety spike is not the time for major decisions. Instead, it is important to slow down, be intentional, and discuss things with someone else. This has reinforced that asking for help is beneficial.
Anxiety helps me speed up.
This seems contrary to the previous point but refers to a different dynamic. The folk singer Joan Baez is credited with saying, “Action is the antidote to anxiety.” For certain anxiety-provoking tasks, like making phone calls, taking immediate action is often the best way to move past the anxious feeling they create.
The broader conversation around mental health has evolved significantly since the 1980s. Today, terms like anxiety and depression are part of mainstream discourse, and resources for understanding and managing these conditions are more widely available. This shift has enabled more people to identify their experiences and seek appropriate strategies for coping, moving beyond stigma and toward a more informed and supportive dialogue.
