During her childhood, the author often watched her parents argue about money because the family had very little. Her mother was an occasional spender, while her father would go as far as making her wear shoes a size too small just to save money. This created tension at home, and eventually her father demanded that her mother give him her entire salary to manage. She had to ask for an allowance even for basic items like menstrual pads or coffee. The author now recognizes that dynamic as financial abuse.
After her mother left her father, she struggled to support the family financially because she earned less than her father had. Despite this, she wanted her children to have more. When the author was twelve, her mother took her to a clothing store called Mango. The author loved the store but could never buy anything there because it was too expensive. She noticed a simple black sweater for about $20, which was the weekly grocery budget. She begged her mother to buy it, and her mother eventually gave in. At the register, the author saw her mother’s stress and felt guilty and ashamed for causing it. That moment shaped her belief that she did not deserve or was not worthy of having more money.
In her twenties, the author became an extreme saver. At twenty-two, she moved to the United States as an au pair and saved money while living with a generous family. After that year, she moved to Florida and started learning how the U.S. financial system works. Her then-husband told her she needed to build credit, so she got her first credit card. Her saving habits weakened as she tried to maintain a lifestyle she had not had in Slovakia. Expenses for manicures, haircuts, and other wants ate up her earnings.
The breaking point came during a dental emergency. She woke up with her right side swollen and went to an emergency dentist. She had insurance but did not know she would have to pay a large portion out of pocket. The receptionist told her the total out-of-pocket cost was $1,600. The author did not have that money. The office offered a payment plan, and that started a cycle of debt.
Over the next eight years, she accumulated personal loans, medical debt, a car loan, and about six credit cards. She eventually hit rock bottom and filed for bankruptcy. She could not understand why she was responsible in other areas of her life but failed with money. She later joked that she was “responsibly broke” because her payment history was perfect.
The bankruptcy became a turning point. After it was settled, she sat in her studio apartment and asked herself how she got there. She identified three reasons: she had never healed her money blocks and beliefs, which limited her income; she refused to educate herself about money; and she used debt to finance a lifestyle she could not afford. She made a commitment to never be in that position again. She faced her financial fears and bought her first personal finance book, Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.
One of the first steps in the book was to save $1,000. She did not see how she could do it, but she started with $50, then $100, then $200. Within two months, she saved her first $1,000. That achievement was less about the money and more about rebuilding trust in herself and her financial choices. Over the years, she made healthier decisions: she opened a brokerage account, started investing, and avoided credit cards altogether.
Looking back, she offers three pieces of advice about money. First, address financial trauma. Many people have limiting beliefs about money from childhood. The five-minute experience in the clothing store at age twelve directed twenty years of financial stress. Money affects the nervous system and mental well-being. For those who are not in poverty, a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle often comes from bad habits, a negative relationship with money, and lack of knowledge. Healing that relationship can uncover deeper wounds like unworthiness.
Second, spirituality and money can coexist. The author grew up atheist and later started to explore spirituality, but she developed an attitude that money was materialistic and not part of the spiritual world. She realized that was a way to avoid her financial trauma. She learned that it is hard to reach higher states of consciousness when stuck in survival mode, worrying about paying rent. Taking care of basic financial needs is necessary before deeper healing.
Third, learn about money. There are many negative financiers and advice out there, but educating oneself is key. The author recommends starting with simple resources and building knowledge step by step.
